It’s days like these where I’ve got no idea what to write. But I still write anyway, because everyday when I go home I think to myself what have I done today.
Play, and repeat.
For the longest time I’ve been thinking what am I going to do with my life. I’m reaching the crossroad point of my life where decisions really would impact my future.
Do I really want to do business? – I’ve thought about that since Polytechnic and even completed a course on Business Administration. But it’s not exactly something that’s challenging to me. It’s really like being tied down with an anchor to your leg where I won’t be able to do the things I’ve aspired to do. In these two years of military service, I’ve found my passion which is photography. I’m a creative artist and I love to experiment with new things and discover the unexpected. Travelling also makes my heart pound with adrenaline rushing to my head when I throw myself into a foreign country. However these dreams do cost a lot and I need money, so the only jobs that I could pursue in relation to these dreams are either full-time photography or being an air steward.
Taking these into consideration, it’s also not easy doing those jobs too. Firstly the industry is a really harsh community where entry isn’t something easy. You’ve got to go through interviews and gruelling training. That I can accept, but its the uncertainty of job security that scares me.
This is something that really makes me worried most of the time. It’s also something that drives me to go for it, but a moment of hesitation may mean your downfall. It’s like cliff-jumping, a deep dive down into an oblivion where you’ve got no idea how deep is it. As you run towards the edge, your feet turns cold and your calves turn jelly. Your heart pounds twice as fast and next thing you realise you’re steps away from death. You still take the jump and then you pray.
“What if I jumped wrongly?”
“Am I going to make it?”
“Holy Crap, I’m falling!”
“What if I die?”
Dreams are made in evenings when you feel inspired from a day’s work. Or the things that made you regret decisions you made while you were still confused on what to do with life. I keep telling myself that I’ll be motivated to do something new, a change in my life and start right now.
Then I procrastinate.
A new day starts and you forget about the things you’ve set out to do.